








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 516 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2988 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1787 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2496 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,625,944 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SEPSIS | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Shanks | 60% | 67 |
| #3 | sLick. | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Kuya BAGSIK | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | BReeZy | 52% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McCockineer | 1785 | 0.29 | 46 min |
| #2 | Zohan | 726 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Shanks | 406 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #4 | sLick. | 185 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #5 | BReeZy | 156 | 0.07 | 4 min |





