








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1016 | 36% |
| Smokes | 575 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,457 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .snackzz | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | craM.TrA | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | rey | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Meatball | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | < dMn > | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .snackzz | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | craM.TrA | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | rey | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Meatball | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | < dMn > | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < dMn > | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Meatball | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < dMn > | 135 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Meatball | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | rey | 56 | 0.37 | 2 min |
| #4 | .snackzz | 26 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | craM.TrA | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .snackzz | +3.15 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | Meatball | +0.85 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | rey | +0.78 | 78 | 86 |
| #4 | < dMn > | +0.15 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | Flamestantin | -0.52 | 71 | 60 |





