








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6713 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4716 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6383 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5572 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,508,409 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BERG | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | wshbr | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | MorkaN | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | Brobert Habeck | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | Leopold Slikk | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nukii | 49% | 49 |
| #7 | Mäff | 48% | 66 |
| #8 | Nofriens | 48% | 132 |
| #9 | Assa | 38% | 34 |
| #10 | buschingeR ¦] | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nofriens | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Leopold Slikk | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Brobert Habeck | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | wshbr | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Nukii | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leopold Slikk | 473 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | MorkaN | 254 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nofriens | 230 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | buschingeR ¦] | 193 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nukii | 180 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BERG | +4.42 | 98 | 61 |
| #2 | MorkaN | +2.06 | 90 | 83 |
| #3 | Melone | +1.89 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Nukii | +0.94 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | wshbr | -0.17 | 65 | 59 |





