








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1602 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,461,871 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ບາງຄັ້ງດີ | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | shatap | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | lartza | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Noa!m | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | NyyTTi ToPi =DDd | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Dr.Trash✞ | 37% | 19 |
| #14 | 4llwaysBad | 36% | 22 |
| #15 | Agent Dimitri | 35% | 23 |
| #16 | StinkyWind | 35% | 23 |
| #17 | lartza | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent Dimitri | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | RUMPPO | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | shatap | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Dr.ABC | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Henkisesti silver | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Kolibri ♥ | 195 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | 4llwaysBad | 106 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | shatap | 104 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | NyyTTi ToPi =DDd | 93 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | ບາງຄັ້ງດີ | 84 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shatap | +4.10 | 83 | 80 |
| #2 | ★Peltzi★ | +3.90 | 73 | 40 |
| #3 | 4llwaysBad | +3.73 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | NyyTTi ToPi =DDd | +3.21 | 77 | 81 |
| #5 | lartza | +1.59 | 60 | 76 |





