








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2244 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2326 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2694 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,525 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BIGBEEFY0 | 41% | 141 |
| #7 | Wintergreen Zyns | 37% | 38 |
| #8 | Blast Hamcleaver | 36% | 55 |
| #9 | Saddam | 35% | 54 |
| #10 | Meek | 35% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGBEEFY0 | 28 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Joshua Block (WorldOfTShirts) | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Blast Hamcleaver | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Meek | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | SaultyNuts | 6 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshua Block (WorldOfTShirts) | 330 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Blast Hamcleaver | 265 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | BIGBEEFY0 | 222 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Meek | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | SaultyNuts | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |





