








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1814 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1129 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2631 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2350 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,550 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Dextrosa (Dextin pero bueno) | 48% | 90 |
| #18 | jurumito | 47% | 19 |
| #19 | 60Hz ropz | 47% | 17 |
| #20 | -NorX | 47% | 15 |
| #21 | El Wason BB | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dextrosa (Dextin pero bueno) | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | insaniBeer | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Weed & Beer | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | dextin19 | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | jurumito | 3 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | insaniBeer | 566 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | Điego | 348 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Weed & Beer | 195 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dextrosa (Dextin pero bueno) | 182 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | αndrewzxp | 155 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jurumito | +2.57 | 58 | 66 |
| #2 | αndrewzxp | +1.69 | 73 | 76 |
| #3 | sVM * + | +1.35 | 68 | 76 |
| #4 | 60Hz ropz | +1.21 | 78 | 72 |
| #5 | Yesid.peek | +0.93 | 80 | 67 |





