








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 506 | 35% |
| Smokes | 195 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 359 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,402 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Tony | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | chnce | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | CRADDOCK | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | jordaniaX | 83% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | rock | 68% | 19 |
| #11 | SUPER DUPER BAD | 61% | 46 |
| #12 | Mazz | 56% | 9 |
| #13 | s | 53% | 15 |
| #14 | evil zws | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʻO Noa ke aliʻi | +10.13 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | s | +3.58 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | SUPER DUPER BAD | +3.25 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | Tony | +2.40 | 58 | 77 |
| #5 | CRADDOCK | +1.51 | 74 | 57 |





