








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4029 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5447 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4914 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4175 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,326,479 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janx9 | 43% | 219 |
| #2 | MR.GOOGLES | 32% | 28 |
| #3 | Groffel ツ IZZ DA | 17% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janx9 | 43% | 219 |
| #2 | MR.GOOGLES | 32% | 28 |
| #3 | Groffel ツ IZZ DA | 17% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janx9 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | MR.GOOGLES | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janx9 | 106 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #2 | Groffel ツ IZZ DA | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | MR.GOOGLES | 18 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR.GOOGLES | +1.11 | 49 | 61 |
| #2 | Janx9 | +0.81 | 69 | 40 |
| #3 | Groffel ツ IZZ DA | -0.93 | 39 | 60 |
| #4 | ChillWolf | -2.15 | 24 | 59 |





