








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 394 | 37% |
| Smokes | 162 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 152 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,754 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOMOMMA | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | FalconX02 | 55% | 78 |
| #3 | RobotHerobrine | 50% | 177 |
| #4 | Kiwi | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | indy | 48% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RobotHerobrine | 1234 | 0.35 | 26 min |
| #2 | indy | 257 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | YOMOMMA | 233 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kiwi | 213 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | FalconX02 | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |





