








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2508 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3049 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4447 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3452 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,656 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JokerAlex47 | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | falte | 50% | 131 |
| #3 | Olsen | 46% | 342 |
| #4 | blunteD | 45% | 283 |
| #5 | HaryHustLe | 44% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olsen | 28 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | HaryHustLe | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | blunteD | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | falte | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | mkayHEATON | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olsen | 759 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | blunteD | 576 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | HaryHustLe | 499 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | falte | 430 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | JokerAlex47 | 140 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olsen | +1.62 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | BlakeN DE COCKn | +0.81 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | JokerAlex47 | +0.61 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | HaryHustLe | +0.39 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | falte | +0.37 | 50 | 74 |





