








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 184 matches | 2,020 | |
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3009 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2759 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3023 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2886 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,453 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le monde est noir | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Guldklimpen | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Jim | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | nikander100 | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | physics | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le monde est noir | +5.25 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | nikander100 | +4.51 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | r | +3.85 | 82 | 76 |
| #4 | physics | +3.59 | 93 | 60 |
| #5 | 8millywonder | +1.51 | 76 | 57 |





