










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7217 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8821 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5115 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6368 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,467,502 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angel | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Capt. Obvious | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | nikander100 | 51% | 220 |
| #4 | Zaxelele | 51% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angel | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Capt. Obvious | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | nikander100 | 51% | 220 |
| #4 | Zaxelele | 51% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaxelele | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | nikander100 | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Capt. Obvious | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | angel | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaxelele | 1292 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | nikander100 | 581 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Capt. Obvious | 209 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capt. Obvious | +3.83 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | nikander100 | +2.66 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Zaxelele | -0.25 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | Jim | -1.15 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | angel | -3.09 | 32 | 27 |





