








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 192 | 9% |
| Smokes | 278 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 853 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,490 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerfectlySizedPP | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | SleepySweet | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | 🔥Blaze | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | BelugaDuchess | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | atr | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerfectlySizedPP | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | SleepySweet | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | 🔥Blaze | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | BelugaDuchess | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | atr | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerfectlySizedPP | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | BelugaDuchess | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | atr | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | 🔥Blaze | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | SleepySweet | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | PerfectlySizedPP | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | 🔥Blaze | 26 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | SleepySweet | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | BelugaDuchess | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr | +5.25 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | SleepySweet | +3.74 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | 🔥Blaze | -0.01 | 55 | 41 |
| #4 | Sophos | -0.89 | 56 | 24 |
| #5 | PerfectlySizedPP | -1.16 | 82 | 43 |





