








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 285 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4439 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5244 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5885 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2967 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,874 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. B | 60% | 276 |
| #2 | XUKG0D | 59% | 272 |
| #3 | UziBoozey | 57% | 278 |
| #4 | cesco | 55% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. B | 60% | 276 |
| #2 | XUKG0D | 59% | 272 |
| #3 | UziBoozey | 57% | 278 |
| #4 | cesco | 55% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XUKG0D | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | cesco | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | UziBoozey | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mr. B | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. B | 802 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | UziBoozey | 381 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | XUKG0D | 377 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | cesco | 371 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. B | +2.85 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | cesco | +1.41 | 89 | 52 |
| #3 | UziBoozey | +0.59 | 87 | 48 |
| #4 | Darthy Darth | +0.38 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | XUKG0D | -1.35 | 74 | 53 |





