








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 35% |
| Smokes | 113 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 119 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 71 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,420 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drick | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | 33% | 27 |
| #3 | AubSauce | 28% | 40 |
| #4 | Genius Penius | 27% | 41 |
| #5 | ICE9 | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drick | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | 33% | 27 |
| #3 | AubSauce | 28% | 40 |
| #4 | Genius Penius | 27% | 41 |
| #5 | ICE9 | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genius Penius | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Drick | 2 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | ICE9 | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genius Penius | 222 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | AubSauce | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Drick | 25 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ICE9 | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drick | +4.52 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Genius Penius | +1.94 | 57 | 79 |
| #3 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | +1.62 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | AubSauce | -1.02 | 26 | 50 |
| #5 | Jaylen Brown | -2.31 | 44 | 22 |





