








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Wingman | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4842 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7472 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7696 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4382 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,791,650 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1004 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YeeeeeDino | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | C4rtoon | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | [Brandon L.] LiQuid. #Bosslife | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | sanders | 52% | 169 |
| #5 | Salkin | 50% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ka | 538 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #2 | sanders | 310 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Homiesexual | 250 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Salkin | 233 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Snek | 225 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ka | +3.71 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | [Brandon L.] LiQuid. #Bosslife | +2.11 | 90 | 50 |
| #3 | Salkin | +1.95 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | yapE | +0.88 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | C4rtoon | +0.21 | 41 | 62 |





