










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 244 | 16% |
| Smokes | 542 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,445 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SickDucker | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | DickDocta | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | dogvomit | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Jerrywilson | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | lilrattieboi | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DickDocta | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | dogvomit | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Jerrywilson | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | lilrattieboi | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Auzee | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilrattieboi | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | dogvomit | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | DickDocta | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Auzee | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dogvomit | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | DickDocta | 31 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | lilrattieboi | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jerrywilson | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Auzee | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickDocta | +3.23 | 44 | 43 |
| #2 | SickDucker | +2.03 | 54 | 50 |
| #3 | Jeddy | -0.12 | 64 | 45 |
| #4 | lilrattieboi | -0.71 | 55 | 39 |
| #5 | dogvomit | -1.33 | 27 | 59 |





