








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 581 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1437 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $510,739 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirko | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Skippy 3X | 61% | 56 |
| #3 | Asda Salad Cream | 61% | 56 |
| #4 | Mlender Saan | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | euan | 58% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonka742 | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | euan | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Skippy 3X | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Asda Salad Cream | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Velkotrix | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonka742 | 502 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | Asda Salad Cream | 209 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | euan | 146 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Skippy 3X | 99 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | temüjin | 59 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirko | +6.16 | 46 | 42 |
| #2 | Tonka742 | +3.21 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | Asda Salad Cream | +2.34 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | temüjin | +0.93 | 46 | 57 |
| #5 | Skippy 3X | +0.63 | 73 | 61 |





