








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4468 | 46% |
| Smokes | 2408 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1363 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1540 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,692 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | t4sk | 51% | 51 |
| #11 | HibitanZ | 50% | 40 |
| #12 | o4s1 | 44% | 43 |
| #13 | me6ru-MEV | 41% | 37 |
| #14 | ✪KenNi™ | 21% | 19 |





