








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 31% |
| Smokes | 741 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 56 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 813 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,832 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pata | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Gogaloga | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Mat | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | RestinRaxys | 50% | 108 |
| #6 | AL | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RestinRaxys | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | AL | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Mat | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mat | 402 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | RestinRaxys | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | AL | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pata | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gogaloga | 36 | 0.20 | 1 min |





