








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 372 | 30% |
| Smokes | 318 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 162 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 396 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,406 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | melty | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | sora | 47% | 32 |
| #9 | eZ | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | THE THINKER | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | Yulin | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melty | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | sora | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | sora | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Yulin | 1 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | saxa! | 1 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melty | 187 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pin | 157 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | sora | 116 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | bi cenat | 50 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | sora | 35 | 0.18 | 1 min |





