










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 941 | 29% |
| Smokes | 751 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 298 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,374 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BahN | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Display | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | The Floosh | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Dunbar | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | SYSTEM | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Elvis | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | dm | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | Sure Lock Homes | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | grag | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | corim | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elvis | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | SYSTEM | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | dm | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Dunbar | 2 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | The Floosh | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Floosh | 125 | 0.44 | 3 min |
| #2 | SYSTEM | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | dm | 49 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dunbar | 46 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sure Lock Homes | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corim | +5.51 | 90 | 31 |
| #2 | SYSTEM | +2.09 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | dm | +2.00 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | BahN | +1.33 | 58 | 75 |
| #5 | ✫Muffin | +0.83 | 87 | 53 |





