








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 109 | 8% |
| Smokes | 449 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 279 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 499 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,603 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disky | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Deredel | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Luca | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Doodle Dip | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Moose | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Deredel | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Luca | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Doodle Dip | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Moose | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | ✞Archxn✟ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doodle Dip | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Deredel | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Disky | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doodle Dip | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✞Archxn✟ | 16 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | Deredel | 13 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Disky | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Moose | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deredel | +3.01 | 65 | 44 |
| #2 | ✞Archxn✟ | +1.66 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | Shepard-017 | +1.50 | 70 | 35 |
| #4 | Doodle Dip | +0.72 | 57 | 33 |
| #5 | Luca | -0.25 | 77 | 26 |





