








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2158 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2042 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1631 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,661 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fnatic Mike | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Anders | 49% | 112 |
| #6 | krills | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | DtN | 45% | 20 |
| #8 | Aladdin | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yohan | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Anders | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Fnatic Mike | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | krills | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | JOHNNYB | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yohan | 225 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Fnatic Mike | 178 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Anders | 122 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | DtN | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | krills | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallepro | +3.46 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | Fnatic Mike | +2.44 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | yohan | +1.50 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | JOHNNYB | +1.30 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | krills | -2.03 | 41 | 61 |





