








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 268 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3910 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4569 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3755 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4000 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,974 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwIzZeY | 58% | 72 |
| #2 | DakDak | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Ed büssa | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | JoopNotYop | 52% | 226 |
| #5 | aclonegeek | 52% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ed büssa | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | JoopNotYop | 52% | 226 |
| #5 | aclonegeek | 52% | 228 |
| #6 | Sponge | 51% | 216 |
| #7 | obeebi | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aclonegeek | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | JoopNotYop | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Sponge | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | TwIzZeY | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | DakDak | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sponge | 933 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | aclonegeek | 660 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | JoopNotYop | 369 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | TwIzZeY | 315 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ed büssa | 172 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obeebi | +1.21 | 95 | 38 |
| #2 | aclonegeek | +1.18 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | JoopNotYop | +1.00 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | Ed büssa | +0.35 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | Wh1plash_tv | +0.15 | 79 | 63 |





