








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3873 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4603 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4316 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4351 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,520 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1064 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjub | 54% | 114 |
| #2 | Don Swang | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | Loerup | 51% | 232 |
| #4 | vic | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | Clau1 | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Venøbo | 48% | 217 |
| #7 | Friggsypoo | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | owned | 47% | 30 |
| #9 | Pacific | 43% | 47 |
| #10 | Sykh | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venøbo | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | tjub | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Pacific | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Clau1 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Don Swang | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loerup | 1299 | 0.26 | 36 min |
| #2 | Venøbo | 271 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | tjub | 260 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Clau1 | 166 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Don Swang | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loerup | +2.40 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | owned | +2.00 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | vic | +1.38 | 62 | 62 |
| #4 | Tvebak | +0.70 | 56 | 74 |
| #5 | tjub | +0.25 | 78 | 66 |





