








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4624 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3687 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2742 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3090 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,284 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeremy♛ | 70% | 66 |
| #2 | phil | 58% | 228 |
| #3 | itsallguccimang | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | FaintSmile | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | rice | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | φ goj1nho | 797 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #2 | phil | 635 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | potato | 492 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #4 | Mr. Make U Sweat | 302 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | ch1mple | 292 | 0.17 | 6 min |





