








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4208 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1898 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3092 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2516 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,349 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | APATHY | 59% | 105 |
| #2 | luremusa | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | ✪SBVツ | 58% | 84 |
| #4 | Corndip | 57% | 122 |
| #5 | Drynz | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Drynz | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | KnekT ツ | 53% | 38 |
| #7 | Nitezod | 52% | 42 |
| #8 | Agent Cooper | 49% | 105 |
| #9 | k0mpis | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | APATHY | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | k0mpis | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Corndip | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ✪SBVツ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Agent Cooper | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪SBVツ | 313 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | APATHY | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Corndip | 225 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | k0mpis | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Agent Cooper | 93 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | APATHY | +3.02 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | ✪SBVツ | +1.94 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Corndip | +1.93 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | Nitezod | +0.57 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | choppy | +0.49 | 68 | 57 |





