








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2023 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1563 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 810 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 594 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,662 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gothamking8022 | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | Anita Max Wynn | 51% | 116 |
| #3 | Iemanu | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Knee Growth | 48% | 71 |
| #5 | BOT FrigiDigi | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Iemanu | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Knee Growth | 48% | 71 |
| #5 | BOT FrigiDigi | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | bombardiro crocodilo | 47% | 87 |
| #7 | SaltyP | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anita Max Wynn | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | gothamking8022 | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | SaltyP | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Iemanu | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | bombardiro crocodilo | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anita Max Wynn | 357 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Knee Growth | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | gothamking8022 | 193 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | bombardiro crocodilo | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Iemanu | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gothamking8022 | +3.19 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | bombardiro crocodilo | +3.13 | 90 | 48 |
| #3 | Knee Growth | +1.47 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | Anita Max Wynn | +1.27 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | NI | -1.18 | 52 | 47 |





