








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1921 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2137 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1207 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,493 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gothamking8022 | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | bombardiro crocodilo | 56% | 118 |
| #3 | NI | 51% | 116 |
| #4 | Knee Growth | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gothamking8022 | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | bombardiro crocodilo | 56% | 118 |
| #3 | NI | 51% | 116 |
| #4 | Knee Growth | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bombardiro crocodilo | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | NI | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Knee Growth | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | gothamking8022 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NI | 327 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | gothamking8022 | 288 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Knee Growth | 281 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | bombardiro crocodilo | 186 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bombardiro crocodilo | +2.24 | 90 | 44 |
| #2 | gothamking8022 | +2.18 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Knee Growth | +1.37 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | Anita Max Wynn | +0.98 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | NI | -2.28 | 53 | 46 |





