








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1286 | 31% |
| Smokes | 760 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 973 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1156 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,108 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mb | 47% | 93 |
| #2 | Ung Kiko-kriger | 47% | 162 |
| #3 | \T/ang£♿ ᴴᵘⁿᵗᵉʳ | 46% | 61 |
| #4 | Bjergvang | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | Vindegaard | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vetterBoy | 31 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Ado L fhitler | 19 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Ung Kiko-kriger | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Vindegaard | 12 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | Bjergvang | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ung Kiko-kriger | 575 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ado L fhitler | 220 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | vetterBoy | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | \T/ang£♿ ᴴᵘⁿᵗᵉʳ | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bjergvang | 117 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mb | +3.31 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Vindegaard | +3.08 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | Ung Kiko-kriger | +1.40 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | \T/ang£♿ ᴴᵘⁿᵗᵉʳ | +1.31 | 69 | 74 |
| #5 | Ado L fhitler | -0.55 | 58 | 49 |





