








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 671 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 168 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8055 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5137 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 9725 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6998 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,428,010 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sch1mple | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | Pable | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Cerro | 54% | 117 |
| #4 | GUSTO | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | Culo-[BiGDeal]- | 51% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LameOnAim | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Wall-E | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Culo-[BiGDeal]- | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | S_T_E_H_N_O | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Malloy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Culo-[BiGDeal]- | 1386 | 0.23 | 44 min |
| #2 | LameOnAim | 970 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #3 | S_T_E_H_N_O | 361 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Nozdrolomo | 329 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | Cerro | 283 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerro | +2.35 | 68 | 52 |
| #2 | JC | +2.12 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Malloy | +1.30 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | Sch1mple | +0.70 | 49 | 72 |
| #5 | LameOnAim | +0.42 | 56 | 69 |





