








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 568 matches | ||
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7702 | 22% |
| Smokes | 12269 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 6004 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8275 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,757,934 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2048 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rittergeist | 70% | 66 |
| #2 | T1T4N | 63% | 187 |
| #3 | L1KEWISE! | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | torNado- | 55% | 64 |
| #5 | 𝔻OG𝕄ANthe𝔹OSS | 53% | 202 |





