








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 36% |
| Smokes | 229 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 253 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,884 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not GC | 40% | 25 |
| #2 | Xyan | 36% | 22 |
| #3 | JustMadHatter | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Hero | 20% | 10 |
| #5 | Weapon X | 20% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mallooch | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Not GC | 66 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Xyan | 51 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | JustMadHatter | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hero | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xyan | +6.68 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | Not GC | +4.30 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | JustMadHatter | +0.19 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | Honda Civic Service Man | -1.10 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | Weapon X | -3.08 | 22 | 24 |





