








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7942 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7833 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2791 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 6045 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,527 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lofty | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | polarr シ | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | Waxybro | 43% | 82 |
| #4 | rich | 38% | 141 |
| #5 | Bottleopnr | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | 185 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lofty | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Waxybro | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | rich | 101 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bottleopnr | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polarr シ | +3.48 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | Bottleopnr | +3.14 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | Big H | +1.43 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | rich | -0.18 | 67 | 26 |
| #5 | Lofty | -0.26 | 66 | 54 |





