








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3477 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3394 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4920 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3686 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,949 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The American Football House | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | soooooyaaaaa 🍄3> | 56% | 77 |
| #3 | jesse | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | Hockles | 49% | 95 |
| #5 | Vekzyz2.0 | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IRotcorp | 437 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | soooooyaaaaa 🍄3> | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vekzyz2.0 | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | jesse | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | The American Football House | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The American Football House | +2.35 | 91 | 73 |
| #2 | Jerm | +2.00 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | Vekzyz2.0 | +1.97 | 60 | 29 |
| #4 | Coach Clint | +1.03 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | jesse | +0.96 | 66 | 67 |





