








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1085 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3379 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,542 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IRotcorp | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | soooooyaaaaa 🍄3> | 53% | 224 |
| #3 | i dont pop molly i rock tom ford | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | The American Football House | 50% | 72 |
| #5 | Jerm | 49% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soooooyaaaaa 🍄3> | 408 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jerm | 204 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | The American Football House | 123 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | IRotcorp | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | D3X | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The American Football House | +2.50 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | D3X | +1.29 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | soooooyaaaaa 🍄3> | +1.17 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Jerm | +0.49 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Hockles | +0.30 | 78 | 51 |





