








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6597 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4872 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7665 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5479 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,206,407 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Explode | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Rusty | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | COOK3D | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | MR MORALE | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SquidOuid | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COOK3D | 533 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Nylexis | 357 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Explode | 281 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rusty | 213 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | SquidOuid | 194 | 0.07 | 6 min |





