








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 42% |
| Smokes | 293 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 91 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $62,659 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ジャガイモのコロッケ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | vexx | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Nahpls | 1 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solace | 64 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #2 | vexx | 64 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #3 | ジャガイモのコロッケ | 46 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ayy Lmoo | 23 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #5 | wawa mac n cheese | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vexx | +3.40 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | Solace | +3.25 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | Skipper | +1.07 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | DLN | +0.20 | 84 | 72 |
| #5 | ジャガイモのコロッケ | -0.03 | 58 | 55 |





