








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3127 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2420 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2062 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,549 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | npc | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | •BeamMy• | 80% | 40 |
| #3 | Kjaerbye | 79% | 92 |
| #4 | ʜ ᴀ ᴅ ᴇ ꜱ | 78% | 149 |
| #5 | // m4rk | 77% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɪ'ᴍ ZeroTwo ゼロツー|002 | +3.65 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Kjaerbye | +3.40 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | amateratsu | +2.64 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | npc | +2.28 | 88 | 11 |
| #5 | •BeamMy• | +2.10 | 82 | 68 |





