








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4526 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4186 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4152 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4480 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,970 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zamp121 | 47% | 221 |
| #7 | Angry NPC | 46% | 68 |
| #8 | Sensei Wu | 44% | 101 |
| #9 | a5o7 | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | 𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀ジ | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yritys oli kova | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | dardeli | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Sensei Wu | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | zamp121 | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀ジ | 5 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardeli | 1701 | 0.20 | 46 min |
| #2 | Yritys oli kova | 1015 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | Nappula | 678 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #4 | zamp121 | 326 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Angry NPC | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |





