








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2827 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2650 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3256 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2394 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,757 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `auti | 54% | 203 |
| #2 | Goose | 51% | 75 |
| #3 | Dale Gribble | 50% | 223 |
| #4 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | 49% | 175 |
| #5 | Wake Me Up | 49% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `auti | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | BuzzkillBrad | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Goose | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Dale Gribble | 9 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | 630 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | `auti | 498 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Wake Me Up | 450 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dale Gribble | 417 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | BuzzkillBrad | 284 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `auti | +3.02 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | Dale Gribble | +0.96 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | Tony G | +0.84 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | +0.57 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Goose | -0.32 | 58 | 71 |





