








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2659 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2231 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1998 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,953 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `auti | 51% | 108 |
| #2 | Tony G | 49% | 139 |
| #3 | Dale Gribble | 48% | 165 |
| #4 | BuzzkillBrad | 44% | 106 |
| #5 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuzzkillBrad | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | `auti | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Goose | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Dale Gribble | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | 380 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Dale Gribble | 333 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Tony G | 292 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | `auti | 254 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | BuzzkillBrad | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `auti | +3.03 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | Flex Master | WOLFPACK | +1.15 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Dale Gribble | +0.99 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | Tony G | +0.88 | 70 | 75 |
| #5 | Goose | -0.20 | 64 | 69 |





