








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 16% |
| Smokes | 608 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 624 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,540 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muc | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | jdc | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | subl!me | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | milk | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | jdc | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | almond | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | subl!me | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 374 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | LS49AG952NNXZA | 317 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #3 | subl!me | 181 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | jdc | 64 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | www | 28 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LS49AG952NNXZA | +4.96 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | www | +3.24 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | subl!me | +2.69 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | jdc | +2.66 | 66 | 47 |
| #5 | muc | +1.94 | 72 | 60 |





