








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 127 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3941 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2332 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2945 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1743 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,050 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TiWAZ | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | David's cock | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Realism | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | ice ice | 59% | 68 |
| #5 | BeN | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | R£@Kz | 56% | 70 |
| #7 | chucka | 54% | 290 |
| #8 | WatuZ | 53% | 60 |
| #9 | Bombardillo Coccodrillo | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | JoSSoN | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chucka | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | ice ice | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | R£@Kz | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | David's cock | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | WatuZ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chucka | 1359 | 0.22 | 43 min |
| #2 | R£@Kz | 230 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ice ice | 162 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | TiWAZ | 150 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | WatuZ | 129 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TiWAZ | +1.90 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | chucka | +1.63 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | David's cock | +1.47 | 88 | 62 |
| #4 | WatuZ | +0.62 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | R£@Kz | +0.19 | 74 | 60 |





