








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 323 matches | ||
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4779 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3850 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4229 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,372,128 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Telcis | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | SANTANA | 51% | 115 |
| #3 | Nagato pain | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | LEW | 49% | 147 |
| #5 | clay | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | clay | 48% | 65 |
| #6 | KermitTheFrogDog | 46% | 63 |
| #7 | Sandy Ravage | 46% | 98 |
| #8 | Glory. | 46% | 98 |
| #9 | iMpakT | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SANTANA | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | LEW | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Sandy Ravage | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Glory. | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | KermitTheFrogDog | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEW | 1044 | 0.35 | 29 min |
| #2 | SANTANA | 403 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Glory. | 210 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sandy Ravage | 170 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | KermitTheFrogDog | 138 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KermitTheFrogDog | +2.30 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | iMpakT | +0.62 | 54 | 74 |
| #3 | STILLER | +0.58 | 68 | 47 |
| #4 | LEW | +0.19 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | Telcis | +0.00 | 31 | 65 |





