








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 36% |
| Smokes | 552 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 355 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 591 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,036 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aykers | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Floca | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Oriick –¦– | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Yeeezie | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | Dazh | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dazh | 75% | 4 |
| #6 | starKi | 73% | 15 |
| #7 | NairObi | 70% | 27 |
| #8 | Myzunic | 67% | 3 |
| #9 | triphal | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NairObi | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Yeeezie | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | starKi | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NairObi | 126 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | starKi | 55 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Floca | 34 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #4 | triphal | 33 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dazh | 21 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazh | +6.14 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | MaThZ | +3.94 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | Myzunic | +3.61 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | Floca | +2.42 | 99 | 66 |
| #5 | Yeeezie | +1.22 | 85 | 58 |





