








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 24% |
| Smokes | 862 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1095 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,330 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i eat beans :) | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Flying_Spurgt ;) | 45% | 40 |
| #3 | Pløk'mester Adrbadr | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | H3i53 | 42% | 229 |
| #5 | MM ツ | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MM ツ | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Juul | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | H3i53 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Pløk'mester Adrbadr | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Flying_Spurgt ;) | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flying_Spurgt ;) | 265 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pløk'mester Adrbadr | 120 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | H3i53 | 105 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | MM ツ | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Juul | 27 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i eat beans :) | +4.97 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | Flying_Spurgt ;) | +2.18 | 73 | 77 |
| #3 | Taint | +1.65 | 44 | 47 |
| #4 | Pløk'mester Adrbadr | +0.72 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | MM ツ | -0.57 | 38 | 46 |





