








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Esplay | 17 matches | 1,395 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1297 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3024 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2244 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2352 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,395,261 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MM ツ | 28 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Flying_Spurgt ;) | 23 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Pløk'mester Adrbadr | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | eur0palle | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | i eat beans :) | 8 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flying_Spurgt ;) | 884 | 0.36 | 19 min |
| #2 | Pløk'mester Adrbadr | 450 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | eur0palle | 363 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #4 | MM ツ | 210 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | TheLengendaryBIH | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |





