








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3094 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2256 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2142 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,768,089 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feelz | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Calzone. | 51% | 215 |
| #3 | FLASHed | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | Glizzy Gobbler | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | NOThavingfun | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Calzone. | 51% | 215 |
| #3 | FLASHed | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | Glizzy Gobbler | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | NOThavingfun | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | smoke | 46% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smoke | 188 | 0.0405 |
| #2 | Calzone. | 117 | 0.0272 |
| #3 | FLASHed | 90 | 0.0321 |
| #4 | Glizzy Gobbler | 21 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | NOThavingfun | 21 | 0.0404 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smoke | 685 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | FLASHed | 625 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | Calzone. | 494 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Glizzy Gobbler | 466 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #5 | NOThavingfun | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glizzy Gobbler | +4.05 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | Feelz | +2.31 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | Calzone. | +1.62 | 81 | 50 |
| #4 | smoke | +1.54 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | FLASHed | +1.14 | 69 | 70 |





